Peace in the desert

Feelings. They are so overrated. I often wake up feeling very sad for no reason. And then I feel irritated for no reason. Why do we trust our feelings more than the word of God?

Today I feel peace. I should not be feeling peace. I should be screaming at the injustice. Not only that, but I should cry for the loss. I should mourn the forgotten. But I feel peace. An overwhelming consensus that everything is good. 

Peace is a fruit of the spirit. Your spirit, God in me. Leading me, guiding me, comforting me. 

Psalm 29 describes peace as a blessing. Lord, I love your presence and the peace that comes over me. 

Here I am hidden in your shadow. Hiding from the enemy. Hiding from the anxiety wanting to consume me. I never want to leave this place. The desert turns into an oasis. The place where I meet you face to face. Praying, crying, shouting, but still this overwhelming peace. 

It makes no sense. My mind screams turmoil, loss, failure, trouble, no way out! You are in the desert. 

But this peace floods every thought. My soul knows God is steadfast in his love, provision, and mercy.

I think of Goliath…. Insulting David. Was David overwhelmed by this peace that surpasses every foul word the enemy dare to utter? 

And then I feel it in my belly. Stirring, living water stirring, Flowing, rushing. As peace grows into something new. Peace grows into boldness, strength, joy and a deep sense of knowing. Knowing that whatever the giant is, I can overcome and defeat it. I can dig a well in the desert. I can defeat this because I am not fighting this battle.

This peace becomes a voice crying in the desert. Prophesying victory and provision. Speaking Jesus over every dry place, barren place and dead bone!

I pray until praises fill my mouth and God rescues me! (Psalm 109:30-31). I take up my sword and declare that every foe will go down in defeat! (Psalm 112:8). 

I pray until Goliath is quiet and headless. Until the prison doors open. I pray until my mind stops lying to me. Until my whole being is at peace. I pray until I become prayer itself!